Last night I figured out what my problem is - why I can't seem to shake this. I keep trying to do it all on my own. I'm not relying on God. And I realize it too, I just don't do anything. And I'll make excuses about having to get a good devotion or something like that, when all I have to do is read my Bible and pray... It seems like so daunting a task sometimes that I don't know where to start, but I need to anyway. So to quote Switchfoot, "the sickness is myself".
"Again 11-4-00
As I looked over the battlefield today I was reminded of what we were fighting for. I thought of all of my loved ones. When I started thinking about my daughter, I was overwhelmed. She can be so much like me... the way her heart breaks with every injustice. She prays like everything depends on God, but then lives like everything depends on her. [emphasis added]" (quote is from the liner notes of Flyleaf's latest album "Memento Mori")
That's me right there (well, excepting the fact that I'm male). I somewhere, subconsciously refuse to accept that I NEED to rely on God. And after a few days, I pay the price for it.
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